☪ A Life Thought + Photography ☪

I want my life to be like one of those aesthetic Tumblr photos.

The achingly beautiful ones, with the color streaked skies, and the perfectly posed people.

I crave that essence, that's had in all the photos. That the Earth and everything on it is beautiful.

That the world is full of breathtaking wonder, and heart-shattering beauty.

I want to view the world the same way it's viewed in the photos. I want to watch the way the stars glimmer, as the sky bleeds a dark blue and turns to night. I want sit and watch people; appreciate them in all their quirky glory as they go about their lives. I want to smile at strangers, and fall in love a little with everyone I meet. I want to travel, and see the world. I want to sit on a rooftop in the rain, and watch the city lights flicker through the torrent. I crave so many things, and yet I don't know how to get them when it seems all life is nowadays is school, 9 to 5 jobs, and painstaking work.

I love my family. I love the cozy atmosphere. The fairly steady routine of life.

But god, if I'm honest with myself, I know that I just can't do it. I can't work a regular job. I can't sit in an office, or do paperwork, or anything that is commonly associated with being something in our society.

I want to see the world through a lens. From a concert stage. From an airplane, the top of a mountain, the window of a beat-up van-- anything, but from over the top of a worn, wooden desk in an office.

Maybe I'm bloody crazy. I honestly wouldn't put it past myself at this point. My mom has always said that sometimes you have to do work that you don't want to do, in order to enjoy what you love.

But I know I just can't.

I'm too stubborn. I'm too impatient. Too goddamn pig-headed, to chase after anything but what will put me somewhere different in the world. I am far gone beyond the reaches of ever fitting normally into society, and maybe that's what my downfall in life will be. That my craving for more will end me up homeless, and living under a bridge, because I didn't do what I should've and taken a normal career path.

But after spending the last two days trying to see the world differently-- honing in on every beautiful part of it, instead of just letting it all rush past-- I think I learned that I'm okay with that. I don't know what I'll end up being, and I don't know where I'm headed. But I've gotten tired of fretting, and looking forward to another day, another week, instead of living in the present. 

So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to stop waiting. I'm going to start taking things as they come, and start appreciating everything around me.

The world is beautiful. 

And I intend to see all of it that I can. 

*all pictures in this post were taken by yours truly. you can pin them if you feel the need to, i only ask that you just don't use them as your own.*

**a really big thank you to all those who have stuck with me all this time. i know i haven't been as bubbly and fun as of late, but right now i kind of just need a space to write the weird things in my head that won't leave me alone until they're typed out. i've been in the blogging community for over a year now, and i really just want to let you all know that i love each and every one of you. thanks for always being here.**