The Future

I am a person who is extremely content not thinking about what my life will be like in, say, 5 years. 

I hate it actually. It panics me, and stresses me out. I'm sure it does for most people too. 

I've always told everyone that my goal in life is to be an author. Well, except when I was in 2nd grade and tried to claim that I would be a veterinarian. I quickly realized that I don't do well with medical procedures/having to inflict anything upon another being. Not my strong point. >_<

But now for the last however many years it's been, I've been set on wanting to be a writer. I felt there was nothing else that appealed to me. Plus, I was good at it. Finished off 1st semester with a 103% in my language class.

I'm a wee bit of an over-achiever. 

But now has come the time where you're really required to sit down, look at all your course options for school, and try and have a rough plan of what you want to learn, and what you want to do in your life. 

*rocks back and forth in corner* 

I wasn't really concerned about this until I actually sat down and looked over everything. 

The writing electives of course appealed to me...

But there were other things too. 

Short little back-story for a second. 

I once took a pre-test in school, near the beginning of the year, just as a,"What do you know?" sort of thing for the semester's unit. 

One of the questions on the paper concerned the Lord of the Rings books, along with a summary of the series. You were to answer a question on sequence of events, or cause and effect, and I was fairly confident in my answer. 

After all, I've kind of devoted the last 3 or 4 years to this stuff. 

I got the answer wrong.

And I kind of lost it. 

I knew my answer was right. The other ones didn't make sense, didn't correlate with the overall effect of the war for the ring.

So I quickly sent an email to my teacher, asking if I could fight for my answer. It was just a pre-test; didn't count as a grade or anything, but I still wanted to prove that my answer was the correct one.

My Language teacher is a really fun man, and he was all for me arguing my point. 

I typed up a short paper, went over it with my friend and then sent it to him. 

He replied back a little later saying,"Well fought, well written, point awarded. Are you thinking of becoming a lawyer?" 

I'll admit, I laughed at the email. I was happy I'd won my point, but being a lawyer? 

Ha. No sir, I plan to be an author.


Or do I?

I hate admitting this, but I argue a lot. My parents can verify this. Trying to get me to go to bed early, at a specific, set time is like trying to tell someone they can't use WiFi for a week. 

Ain't gonna happen. 

I will always, always, fight, barter, and wheedle my way to getting just five extra minutes before turning off electronics for the night and heading to bed. 

It's fun for me, honestly. I quite like debating, and being right. 

So when I was looking at courses and saw Introduction to Law as one of them, I stopped, and kind of stared at my screen. 

"You plan on being a lawyer?" 

*tugs on hair and hits head on table*

The problem was not the prospect of having to eventually go through college and law school; a total of 7 years of learning, if I decided to take that path. 

No, the problem was, I'd been planning so long on writing. Being an author. Working for a company where I could use words. Anything, that I could use my writing skills for. 

I kept the notion of the law course in the back of my mind and continued scrolling through the lists of things to take. 

And then I stopped again. 

I'm a really big mystery/crime nerd. I adore the Nancy Drew PC games. The whole concept of trying to figure things out, find motives, and how people are connected has always been such a fun thing for me. A show called Border Wars is one of my recent addictions. The trouble people go through to try to sneak things into the U.S. is mind-boggling to me. The people who figure it out, and connect the rings of people working to do this, fascinate me. 

So of course, I stopped at the sight of a Criminal Investigation course. There's also an Introduction to Criminal Justice course as well. I kind of just refer to both of them as going hand in hand as I'd likely take both at the same time. 

Criminal Investigation

Criminal Justice

At this point I was kind of getting flustered. What the heck was I going to do? 

What did I want to do? 

It's hard, when you've been stuck in a mind-set for so long, thinking that there is nothing out there that will suit you, only to then come upon classes that interest you, that lead to completely different professions than what you had planned. 

Throughout going to dinner and eating at a restaurant yesterday night, I talked with my parents about the three paths I was looking at. I think my mom was slightly surprised at the criminal side of things. She told me that I'd have to become a police officer and then move on to detective if that's what I was thinking. I told her I knew that, and she seemed shocked. Not in a bad way, but still surprised. I'd never before really voiced interest in those kinds of things.

I'm lucky enough to have parents who will be supportive of me no matter what I choose. As long as I'm happy, and able to support myself, they're okay with what I do. I know sometimes parents try to force their kids into professions. Makes me even more grateful that mine would be supportive of me going for what I like. 

Talking with my mom, I managed to lay out somewhat of a plan, although we still need to put together my courses for sure. 

I'd like to focus on each path in separate years. Take the courses and see what appeals to me most. My mom was careful to remind me that nothing is set in stone. She had a friend's daughter who she believes graduated with a degree in language or architecture, who now works at an animal shelter. 

It's hard, thinking about the future. Especially when you know you can't really control it. Certainly, you can make choices that affect it, but none of us know for certain what's going to happen. God has a plan laid out for all of us, and try as hard as I will to figure it out and know it, I won't really ever know it. 

The future is still daunting and scary to me. It always will be, I think. I worry a lot, but I'm trying to relax. I've never been tremendously good at going with the flow of things, but my goal is to get better at it. 

For now, I'm just going to get my feet wet and see what I like. 

Who knows, I could end up as a criminal investigator who goes on to write about her experiences, when she gets old and grey, and moves to England. 

Wouldn't that be something? :D


  1. Adi, I completely understand what you're saying. Ever since I was three, I've wanted to be a doctor. And then I found out about my fear of blood, and it went from author to history teacher and back to author again. But recently, I discovered that my fear of blood had vanished, and my hopes for being a doctor resurfaced. When I found out that doctors go through anywhere from ten to fifteen years of schooling, I thought I wouldn't be able to do it. Plus, college is so expensive. That's part of why of decided to sign up for several college courses at school. I completely understand where you're coming from. My mom and I spent three hours last year trying to figure out what classes I was going to take over the next few years, and it stressed me out, because I had only recently renewed my ambition to become a doctor. So I know exactly what you're going through. I think you would probably do well in any of those professions! I do suggest going to the website of the college you want to go to though and seeing if they have the major you want, and how long it will take to graduate. :) Try not to get too stressed out; I did last year, and it made things three times harder. :D

    1. It's nice to know that others are going through the same thing. A doctor would be such an amazing career; I'd be all for it if I didn't feel my insides twist at the sight of blood. :P
      I'm trying not too. It's not set in stone and it's not a gigantic deal, where I'm at in life. Just still weighs a bit on your mind.
      Thanks for the comment, and making me feel a bit better. You're always so sweet Ginny. ^-^

  2. I totally get ya--except well...I'm 13 and the most I had to worry about regarding what I want to do was choosing my courses for high school so...xD but still, I understand the "having your heart set on one thing but realizing there's lots more out there" situation, and believe me when I say I'm not one that enjoys thinking about my future. Since I'm younger than probably everyone else that's able to relate to this and will most likely sound stupid or something, I'm not gonna explain. But anyways, I wish you the best of luck with testing the waters and finding your way to a career that you will enjoy :)


    1. You're not much younger than me, honestly. I may have made it sound like I'm way older in an attempt to try and not share my age. Certainly not what I intended, but yeah, I'm not much older than you. It's just different taking courses online. Or perhaps I'm just an anal-annie who reads way too much into teachers stressing about things. xD
      Thanks for the luck wishing. I'll need it. ;)

  3. The amazing thing is, you'd be amazing at any of those three things man. Taking multiple paths will probably help since then you won't just have a plan B if one doesn't work out, you have something else after that. And they're all things that you're really passionate about, making the whole journey all the more exciting.
    I've been talking about this to my parents too, who've been kind enough to send me links to the coolest art colleges ever and dropping hints about art professions/schools that would be really cool to teach at, so at least I know they've accepted the art and math teacher part of me (which is really like 80% of me, the other 20% is food and band trivia and puns. xD). Which I'm really really lucky for, since both professions are really iffy and don't really pay much in the long run.
    One of the things I did was go to Tumblr and ask on anon all the older people who'd already gone through this, and the best advice I got was "If you're lost about what to do with you're future or what to do with your life, try and move towards the places your brain wanders to the most. For example, with art; if you're sitting in class and you draw a lot and you spend most of your free time looking at art, and its something you think about when you're bored or before you fall asleep at night, and it's something you're truly passionate about, try that. Just have a plan B, because you never know where the wind will blow."
    Tumblr's amazing sometimes. xD
    The only thing I haven't done yet is panic. I've done enough of that already. xD Panicking is out of the question in the list of things I want to do with my life, and just for that reason I'm trying my best to stay calm about all this and make jokes and have fun, keeping in mind that it's all going to be fine.
    But hey, we'll both figure this out, we both won't die trying to choose what we want to do with our lives, and we'll both kick butt the next few years xD


    1. Amazing. Pssshh, you overcompensate my abilities Ms. xD
      I'm glad they finally accepted the art thing; You're so good at it and you need to implement it someway in your life. Or at least, draw pretty art I can hang on my walls. xD
      That quote is amazing, thanks for that.
      Glad you're not panicking. Your calm sense should hopefully help my little self breathe and relax. xD
      And yes. We will always kick butt; literally or figuratively. xD

  4. At the end of the day, what is most important is that you try out the courses and try to enjoy them as much as possible and learn as much as you can. After that, I think you'll know what you want to do.
    Also, interesting point: lawyers need to write a LOT, and they need to be really good at it. And I wouldn't be surprised if criminal justice and investigation are the same way. So perhaps you don't have to give up writing as a part of your career at all. And there's always the option to do law-stuff (sorry, not good at technical languages over here :P) as your main job and write stories or freelance writing on the side.
    Plus, your mom is right: I have an aunt who graduated from college with a degree in elementary education and now works as a mortgage broker and real estate agent. So no worries. It'll all work out in the end. One cannot go through their entire lives not knowing what they want to do; you shall know soon, I think.
    Best of luck! :)

    - Ellie

    1. That'll all I'm hoping for, Ellie. That I find something I enjoy and want to pursue. I'm sure out of the three options, something will speak to me.
      They do need to write a lot, I'm sure my ability would work well with legal documents and putting things together.
      My mom always used to stress that; the fact that I can have a job but still write on the side and get published. It's certainly what will probably happen, and I think I'm okay with it.
      Thanks for the kind words, Ellie! ^-^

  5. I hate it when the guidance counselor lectures us on needing to know where we want to go to high school AND college AND what our career will be. I want to *gets an attitude* say, "Ladie, you need to slow your role." And I too want to be some many things:
    1. a dancer (I'll go to a performing academy and college)
    2. become a photographer
    3. publish a book
    4. become a stay at home mom
    I hope you find one you enjoy-that's what really matters.

    1. Funny how much stress they put on our future's. Especially when some of us really don't know what appeals to us. :P
      Being a dancer sounds amazing. Or a stay at home mom. Both sound enjoyable. ^-^
      Thanks for the comment, Emily. <3

  6. Holy heck, Adi, I totally understand where you're coming from. We've got to choose our 'career pathway' for high school next year, so I've been looking at the options... it's just crazy. I do not think eighth graders should have control over their long-term future. Half of my class would end up being football football players or actresses.
    And it would be scary.
    Anyway, I totally get where you're coming from. I hope you'll find what ya love. I think you'd do great at any of those professions. Plus, does "Detective Adaline" sound super cool or what?

    1. Haha, no we shouldn't. I'm positive a lot of kids at my older school still have no idea what they're going to be putting on for their courses the upcoming years. Honestly, I think most might drop out before college. :P
      I do too. And "Detective Adaline," does sound neat ;)

  7. So true! I've always argued to get my point across but I really don't want to be a lawer or anything in that area actually. I would prefer something more creative like blogging/vlogging/crafting/ect. They show us all these jobs at school that personally I find a bit boring, but they never talk about anything creative. I mean YouTube is kind of a whole job in it's self now! I think that some part of the Internet + crafting + photography + dancing (maybe lol) will be in my future for sure. Now I don't know half of the things I'm talking about anymore so bye. xD

    1. You're right, they never really address professions like that. I think you'd be an amazing YouTuber. Plus you're amazing at crafts, so if you could find a way to combine the two, you'd be positively fantastic. ^-^

  8. I have this fear that because I am so much younger than you, you are going to go out into the world, ditch the blog, and forget all about the middle school age kids that you inspire. Future? I have it all mapped out, because I am so incredibly afraid of something going wrong. Please don't forget us when you become some sort of millionare in your selected career. Scincerely, The People Who Started Freaking Out When This Was Posted

    1. Oh, I doubt you're much younger than me. I'm certainly not going out into the world anytime soon, and for the foreseeable future the blog will stay up and running, if only for me to post pictures I like. I'm mature maybe, but certainly not that old. xD
      Please, no freaking out. I'm staying and blogging for as long as my fingers can type. =)

  9. Oh! You are thinking of being a writer too? I want to be a writer as well! I suppose in 10 years maybe I'll walk into a book store and see a book of yours. ; )
    And about worrying about the future-my reasoning is God will just have everything go according to plan. It doesn't mean I'll have a super easy time of it, but as long as I do what's right, I know I'll be where I need to be. Of course I have plans(I wanna travel ALOT and write books) but I'm just going to go with it...or try to.

  10. Hey Adi!
    Ok, first up:I think about this a lot. I do writing prompts (short stories, maybe 10 pages long) just to make sure I'm thinking before I write. Well, I came across one the other day that said "Write a story about you in 10 years." Well, I really started thinking about that. Since I was little, my objectives were to act, dance, and generally be awesome. When I started Irish dance, I decided I was going to get a scholarship from dance for Trinity College in Dublin (partially to partake of the enormous library) and then I wanted to dance as the lead female in Lord of the Dance.Then I realized that it wasn't the most modest show for women to be in, especially the lead, so I changed to Riverdance.
    Well, I had my 5th dance injury in August, and my mom wanted me to quit. I'm still enormously cut up over it, but it also meant that Riverdance and a scholarship weren't going to happen. Maybe I can get in as a supporting dancer, but if not, I don't really have a back up plan. I can go back when I'm done growing (most of them have been growth plate injuries), but that still isn't much time to prepare to do that.
    I started up ballet and tap again, and am at a more advanced level than I thought I would be, not taking ballet in 6 years, and tap in 7, so I'm thinking about doing something with that, but the thing is, there are soon many people who do that, millions and millions, and it's so competitive. I thought about trying out for SYTYCD when I'm older, but some of the dances and costumes are not something I would at all wear, and I think they would need to change some rules for what is ok and what is not ok to be in the dances before I audition.
    So, I'm worrying about that too. I've recently gotten interested in writing, and ice skating, but it would be really late to try for anything in ice skating, and my writing tends to be...well, over dramatic, fast moving, and choppy. And extremely poetic. Not in a good way.
    I've been making a list of stuff I'm in to, and what professions go along with it:
    History (teacher, excavater-person)
    Debating (lawyer, president or that kind of thing)
    Dance (dance teacher, professional dancer)
    Acting (actress, set design)
    Being Bossy (director)
    Dolls (making a doll line; becoming president of AG and seriously changing it around so it has a better moral and values, with lower prices and more diversity, as well as dolls with stories for older kids that don't skate over most major issues)
    Diversity (erm....writing books about diversity, becoming a US or UN representative)
    Skating (professional skater)
    Sewing (sewing irish dance dresses, sewing ballet tutus)
    Designing doll clothes, id dresses, old clothes (costume design for movies, tv, etc; doll clothing brand; making up clothes idea for patterns)
    Reading (english teacher)
    Learning about different cultures (US or UN rep)
    I love shows like Brain Games (criminal stuff), and Mythbusters (erm.....nerdy science stuff and telling people that they're wrong, which I like to do.) :b

    Yes, I have a lot of hobbies.


    1. Oi, that looks even longer up there. I got a "Must be at most _____ characters" message, so I thought I'd write a bit more in a different comment.
      Yes, I have a lot of hobbies.
      I've kind of decided that the thing I'd most like to do is probably become president of AG, or start another doll line like H4H dolls, full of diversity and education. AG started out with good ideas about things, and I feel like thy've become a lot less focused on the actual doll so much as "who will sell?" I'd love to be able to turn that around.
      I don't really want to be a teacher, so I've crossed those out.
      Maybe just make a list of pros and cons of each. Just do little things like that, Maybe you could take a school year of one thing, and the next could be the other, or something like that.
      I've gotten the lawyer thing a lot too, honestly. My friend's parents are both lawyers, and her mom told me I would be a good lawyer (I love logic puzzles and to speculate about such things as psychology. I love to play Mafia, and when I'm with a certain group of people, I'm one of the first to get out, and our days usually take about 15-30 minutes each, LOL)

      This comment probably already has more words than your entire post, but I wanted to let you know I'm going through the same thing. :)
      Keep us updated on what you choose!
      Kathleen, the completely extroverted, talkative person :D

  11. Hi Adi! I can completely understand what you're going through! Some days my ideas for my future change back and forth. Some days I want to be a full time writer and some days I'd love to be a teacher! Some advice I can give you though, is to make a list of goals that you definitely want to abcieve and that you certiainly want to incorporate into what ever you decide to do. For example, I have so many different options for what I'd like to do, but my definite requirements are:

    1. I want writing to have something to do with my job, and if not, I still want to write, perhaps as a freelance writer.
    2. I want to able to teach what I have studied.
    3. I want to be able to travel for my work.

    Whatever path you choose, I'm sure you'll do great! :)

    - Audrey


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