Bands & A Sense of Ownership

This is a post that won't really make sense to some of you, but I've been musing and ranting about this to Kels for a while, and I feel like it's finally time bring it up and get my thoughts out there. This post isn't meant to off-put any of you or make you feel bad, it's just something I've been noticing, more on the G+ side of things. 
These are my feelings. Just that. 

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I feel like sometimes when I talk about the bands I love, you don't get it. 
You know that I like them, you know that I have an embarrassing surplus of gifs of them, you know that I think Patrick Stump is a precious muffin, etc. 

But you don't get it. 

There are three bands that mean the bloody world to me. 

Fall Out Boy. 

My Chemical Romance. 

Linkin Park. 

I don't like them because I think a band member is attractive. I don't like them because they're popular. I don't like them because someone I admire does.

I love them because of their music and what it means to me. Because of what they say, and what they do. How they've helped me realize something.Yeah, I find Patrick Stump to be pretty adorable, but I love him because he's the one whose been slowly helping me come to terms with the fact that I'm alright with how I look and that I shouldn't give a second thought to what others think of me. And Gerard? He's kept me smiling and believing that everybody's got a good side to them. That I shouldn't judge anyone without knowing their full story. 
 I love certain bands because of how they go out of their ways to help others. How they tell you, it's going to be alright.They mean so much to me because when I'm feeling horrible, they're what makes me feel better.  They're that little bit of sunshine behind the gray clouds some days, and I know I sound like an obsessed idiot, but that's how much they fricking mean to me. 

That's not what I want to focus on in this post, though. It's one part that I felt I needed to clarify, so that the rest of this will hopefully make more sense. 

To state something bluntly: 

I hate it when somebody tells me I've "gotten them obsessed with--" 

You made the conscious decision to look more into what I was talking about. You learned about something from me, but I didn't get you obsessed with them. Didn't force you to listen to them. And honestly, when people say stuff like that, it makes me upset. 

I'm afraid to talk about bands that I've discovered and that are now close to me. It seems I can't mention one without suddenly seeing someone go,"HEY GUESS WHAT, I NOW LIKE ----- THANKS TO ADALINE WHO GOT ME OBSESSED WITH THEM." 
It makes me upset, honestly. And I've seen it happen more than once, and to other people. 



Everything I'm trying to say is best described in the picture above, I suppose. It's a weird thing, and I can't really describe it the way I want to. 

And I'm not ragging on people who listen to a band's music and don't care about knowing members. I'm not ragging on those who only know a few songs. Heck, I'm not ragging on anybody. I'm writing this to just get something off my chest.This is just another one of my controversial, probably ignorantly written posts. 
I have a selfish part of me that wants to keep at least one band to myself. The last one that means a lot. I know there are some of you who'll understand that there's that one band, that one person, that one book, that you want people to like and know of from a distance, but nothing more than that. Because it means something tremendous to you. It's the thing that comforts you when everything seems to be going wrong or tumbling down. It has value to you. It's comfort to you. Kind of like a security blanket. And when others try to like it just for the sake of getting attention, it's like they've cut off a part of your blanket and taken it with them, not truly understanding what it means. 

Did this make sense? Probably not. 

But it feels nice to have written it and gotten it out there. 



This post wasn't addressing anyone who has really taken a band to heart after hearing about it from another Blogger. This post was about the people who think liking bands is a fad. Something you do to fit in, get likes, whatever. I know there are people who are going to think this post concerns them, and it doesn't. If you've found a band, a book, a movie, or whatever, through this blog, and said something like,"Adaline got me obsessed with-" I'm not upset at you. 99.9% of you truly care about what you've discovered from this blog and I know that. So don't fret about this post, okay? It's just me rambling, as always. 




Comments

  1. thank you so, so much for posting this. it's exactly how i feel about sleeping with sirens and set it off, for those two bands, both the music they make and the amazing people that create it, are what keep me going with my head up and a smile on my face. thanks again for writing this. it really needed to be said. <3

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    1. thank YOU for commenting. What you said is exactly how I feel. <3
      xo Adi

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  2. So I MAY be one of those people who say I've gotten into something because of you. But it's true! Without you mentioning them, I would never of found them and I don't know what my life would be like if I hadn't. I always feel like that just because I just got into a band or something like that means that I want to follow the "trend." And I understand why people like that annoy you- when you think you just made a friend that likes something you do and you to ask them something about it and they seem like they don't understand anything you're talking about- they're just following the trend. *sighs*
    And I realize that (hopefully haha) this isn't directed at me, but I just wanted to make sure we understand each other. ^-^
    -Claire

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    1. Nah, Claire, I wasn't addressing you! :)
      I'm really very happy that you found Fall Out Boy through me, and it brings me joy every time I see you get excited about them.
      xo Adi

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  3. I think this can happen with lots of things-and it really bothers me when someone says they like something I like just because it's popular or they want to get in my good book. Personally, I believe in originality, not just in music and media, but in opinions. I wish people would follow what their heart and common sense tells them to do, instead of following the crowd of "cool kids" or any other "group" that's popular at the moment. I may not listen to certain things, or read certain things. And that's okay. It's what makes me.
    Anyway, lovely post, I totally get what you're trying to say. And you're right.

    ~K. P.

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    1. Agreed. Books, movies, t.v. shows, etc. All of a person's interests can be subject to this problem, I believe. I'd much rather see somebody excited about what they truly love, then trying to act like they love what another person does.
      Thank you, Kathryn. <3
      xo Adi

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  4. Thank YOU for putting this into words. Yes, I know I talk about bands ALL day EVERY day. Yes, Pete Wentz is bloody good looking. Yes, I have music playing 24/7. But that's not the reason I admire them. I know it sounds stupid but their ( Foo Fighters, FOB, MCR, and ATL.) music is kinda the reason I'm more comfortable being who I am and how I look and want to look. They're the reason I picked up the stupid instrument and want to start and band and inspire other outcast and rejects who don't quite know what's wrong with them but are alright with that and dress in the same color everyday. So they don't feel so crappy about how they think and act. So I totally understand how you feel.

    Chloee
    sparkofm.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you, Chloee. ^-^
      Trust me, it doesn't sound stupid at all. I get it, and obviously, as the comments have shown, there are others who get it, too. They've made me realize I can do whatever I want, and move past anything bad that happens. They mean the world to me, just like they do for you. <3
      xo Adi

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  5. It's so true. So, a few months ago (maybe six) I used to pretend I was obsessed with FOB and had a crush on Patrick Stump and all that.. But then I realized that that wasn't ME. I was doing it just to be popular and I was thinking to myself: "Why? Just because it's a 'trend'? There are people who are REALLY passionate about this and they think you are, too. Why lie to them about who you really are?"
    So yes. I stopped posting stuff about FOB in general. I like them, I listen to their music, but truth be told I'm not in that fandom at all, really. Now I'm content with my three less-popular fandoms, Narnia, Star Trek and Owl City. Even though there might never be someone who likes it as much as me, and even though they may never be really super ultra popular, I'm not pretending to love them. And I like it that way.

    ~Lydia~ <3

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    1. I'm glad you realized that it wasn't you-- I think that's the hardest thing about this, as well as finding yourself. It's a weird thing, but i know how much you love Narnia, Star Trek, and Owl City. Your happiness about them is always infectious; it makes me happy to see people loving what they truly love. <3
      xo Adi

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  6. http://youdontknowmybrainthewayyouknowmyname.blogspot.co.uk/2015/07/sorry-rant.html
    I wrote this a while ago when Maddie brought this up on Social Casualty, but it includes you too.
    It's basically me apologising for being a bit of an arsehole about this...
    Charlotte

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    1. Oh, Charlotte! I never aimed anything at you, trust me. I adore you to bloody bits, and I know you're not just "liking bands," as a fad thing. Please don't think I'm upset at you or anything. :3
      xo Adi

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    2. Oh, Charlotte! I never aimed anything at you, trust me. I adore you to bloody bits, and I know you're not just "liking bands," as a fad thing. Please don't think I'm upset at you or anything. :3
      xo Adi

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  7. Beautifully written Adi! I know what you're talking about; wanting to keep something to yourself because of how much it means to you. I have no problem with others liking the same things as I do, as long as they truly appreciate it (like you said.)
    Before I start rambling I want to say that there's nothing wrong with getting something off your chest even if you feel it doesn't make sense. If writing a post makes you feel better; like there's less on your mind, or helps you sort out your thoughts, then do it. :)

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    1. Thanks, J! Glad you understand. ^-^
      It does make me feel better-- sometimes I just need to write things, regardless of posting them or not. It's such a relief to just work through my thoughts, as disjointed as they are. xD
      xo Adi

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  8. THIS IS AMAZING THANK YOU. Sure Pete Wentz is freakin hot and Hayley Williams is basically a goddess, that's not why I'm in love with these bands. These bands practically saved me when things were getting bad, I owe everything to them.

    And it's okay to rant even if it doesn't make sense, if it feels good to get off of your chest, then go ahead and write that post :) I personally love rants, they really show a person's true opinions and thoughts.

    ~Noor

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    1. THANKS NOOR.
      Agreed, Pete Wentz is very hot, and Hayley is queen, but that's honestly not why I adore them so much. Explaining why I love them is hard, just because they mean THAT MUCH to me. I'm happy you can relate. :)

      Thanks, again. <3
      xo Adi

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  9. Yes.
    Yes.
    This is true.
    Very true.
    I agree.
    Idk if any of this is going to make any sense but.
    I live a very comfortable life. I am quite spoiled (I'll admit it), my family is upper-middle-class/lower-upper-class, and I have most of what I want at my fingertips. I've never had any injuries worse than a jammed finger. I get all top grades in school. My parents get along splendidly. All of those things have always been true. And I've never known what it's like to be depressed, or not have enough money, or be bullied. I like music because I like the way it sounds and I like the people who make it. I don't usually like it because it connects to me in a really personal way like it does for you. And I'll admit that. But I hate when people like me, who don't really have a super ultra personal connection to the music, pretend they do just to be liked or get more popular or similar. I think it's very disrespectful to people who have a genuine, personal connection to the music. And so I guess what I'm trying to say is that from the angle of someone who doesn't have a really deep connection to bands and musicians, I still very much agree with you.
    I don't know if that made any sense but still.

    - Ellie

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    1. Trust me Ellie, it makes sense. A lot of it applies to me, too. I've never been truly depressed. Never broken a bone. I live a wonderful, fabulous life, and the only thing truly horrible that's happened to me was cancer. And that was a decade plus, ago. But somehow I've come to lean a little bit on bands. My life is wonderful, but I've still got worries, concerns, fears. They help me, a lot, with those. And I've noticed that I've been able to cope better with things, since discovering these bands a year or so back. Panicking about events, doctors appointments, etc., is almost HARD for me to do now. Because bands have taught me not to worry, among other things.
      Eugh, I'm probably the one whose comment didn't make sense. Oops. :3
      xo Adi

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  10. *prints out post*
    *frames it*
    *carefully sets it in the center of my fireplace mantel*
    This is perfect.
    I still will never get over how perfect that one comment was.

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    1. *gets on lawnmower and travels to your house*
      *flies to the fireplace*
      *admires frame on your mantel*
      Very nice. 10 out of 10 goats.
      IKR?!
      xo Adi

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  11. Yes! I feel this way all the time about many things, and not just fandoms and bands, with everything it seems like.
    I know I don't own these things, they aren't mine to obsess over, but it hurts to see other people obsessing over it just as much as me. It makes the thing I love less special somehow.
    But anyway, this post is all around perfect!

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