The Becoming of Noah Shaw: Michelle Hodkin || ARC Review

“I waged my heart on you and lost, again and again and again, but still I would do it. I could never bet on anyone else."

The Becoming of Noah Shaw (The Shaw Confessions #1) by Michelle Hodkin

Release Date: November 7th, 2017

Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers

Purchase: Amazon // Barnes and Noble // Book Depository

In the first book of the Shaw Confessions, the companion series to the New York Times bestselling Mara Dyer novels, old skeletons are laid bare and new promises prove deadly. This is what happens after happily ever after. Everyone thinks seventeen-year-old Noah Shaw has the world on a string. They’re wrong. Mara Dyer is the only one he trusts with his secrets and his future. He shouldn’t. And both are scared that uncovering the truth about themselves will force them apart. They’re right.

*Thank you to the publishers for kindly providing me an e-arc via Edelweiss! This in no way influenced my review, and all thoughts are my own.*

TW: suicide, self-harm

I think this is more of a "it's me, not you," situation. 

I'm going to be totally honest, I was confused throughout 99% of this book. Confusion is usually a thing that comes along with Mara Dyer books, so I was expecting some, but the confusion I experienced with this one was overwhelming. I have literally no clue what happened over the course of the book. Part of my confusion probably stems from the fact that I was evidently in major need of a reread of the first trilogy. There were so many allusions to events that happened in the trilogy, and I remembered/recognized absolutely nothing. 

(me, throughout the entire book. dr. kells?? yeahhh, sorry, don't know her)

I probably could've dealt with the confusion, and given this a higher rating, but the whole suicide-centric theme of the book really ruined The Becoming of Noah Shaw for me. I've never been suicidal, and I saw the warning at the beginning of the book, but good god, there was so much emphasis on suicide throughout the story, and I really just couldn't deal with it. I feel like it was the only thing everyone talked about, or thought about, in the story, and about half way through, I started feeling sick. I'm still feeling uncomfortable after finishing it, and I kind of regret pushing all the way through, because it definitely wasn't worth it when it comes to my mental health. 

In truth, the whole book felt off to me. I couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was-- I want to think that it was viewing things from Noah's POV (who felt so incredibly lackluster in this installment to the point where I wanted to cry because what happened to my favorite boy??) and the shift in voice and writing. I don't know. Everything was just weird and convoluted, and I feel like a lot of it was just needless back-and-forth arguments and unnecessary angst due to lack of communication between Mara and Noah. 384 pages feels excessive when I sit back and think of the few events that were actually significant in moving the plot forward. 

It's disappointing, because I seriously adore the first trilogy. But there were too many things that just didn't work for me in this new installment.

*2 out of 5 stars*

★★☆☆☆

As always, remember that just because a book didn't work out for me, doesn't mean it won't be a new favorite of yours! If you read the first trilogy and are dying for more Mara + Noah, then you should absolutely give it a try. Just be aware of the suicide aspect; I'd hate for anybody to get triggered or have a hard time. 

As for little old me: life has been absolutely batshit crazy and I can't even begin to go into things because it'd take forever-- but hello, I'm back from my unexpected two-month hiatus, I'm feeling better than I have in a year, and I'm ready to start reading like a fiend again. I've got tons of reviews to write, and they'll be appearing soon. I may have an update post up eventually, although lord knows how long it'll take me to compile everything together. I hope that all of you are doing okay; tell me what's been going on while I've been gone! I want to catch up with all of you lovelies. <3 

LET'S CHAT! Have you read the latest installment in the Mara Dyer story? If so, what did you think? How do you feel about trilogies/series that finish, only to be rebooted? Tell me your thoughts below!