Battle of Five Armies Review - 2 Versions: Spoiler-Free & W/ Spoilers

*picture taken by moi so no taking it aight? xD*

So I've sort of collected my thoughts after the mind-shattering movie yesterday.

Wow.

WOW.

I'll be doing this post in two sections; one review totally spoiler-free, and one with a few spoilers. You may read one, both, or neither. xD

First off, I have a sort of story to tell about the whole movie experience.

We checked the site for our local movie theater to ensure that we were seeing the very first 2D showing on the 17th, yesterday. We got there about a half an hour early, went to get our tickets and...

"The 1:30 showing? We had a problem on our website... it says 2D, but that's really a 3D showing. Our first 2D showing isn't until 2:30."

My family isn't a family that views our movies in 3D. Really only because it's even more costly... and the fact that I think we all hate wearing the glasses.

But the theater offered us a discount because the site had been wrong, and none of us really wanted to wait another hour so... in 3D we saw it.

Two words to describe BOFA in 3D: 

Holy. Crap. 

It was AMAZING. Totally would see it in 3D again, although I do want to go back and see the movie in just regular 2D. 

So that was a fun experience. Not how we've done it in the past, but still just as enjoyable. 

NOW ONWARDS.

TO MY DISCONNECTED THOUGHTS AND FEELS ATTACKS. 

Non-Spoiler Review

BOFA was put down by critics, and people on TheOneRing.Net. 

I do not understand why.

There were book deviations, of course there were. I understand that you want a movie exactly like the book. Yes, man, I'd love that too. But uh... not gonna happen.

The movie was beautiful. Non-stop action, directly from the beginning. 

To be honest, I was slightly disappointed that the movie didn't start off with a flashback scene like every other Hobbit & LoTR movie. But Peter did the beginning beautifully. Entrancing from the second the footage starts, and never once during the next 2 hours do you lose that entrancement. 

Richard Armitage... oh, dear gawd, I'd kiss him, thank him, & bless his soul at this very moment if I could. His performance of Thorin was so real, so vivid, and played with such conviction. He's an incredible actor. The way he played Thorin's descent into madness was just brilliant. So amazing. 

Martin was Martin. Doing those wonderfully quirky things he does with his face, & playing Bilbo with as much power as Richard did with Thorin. I adore little Bilbo, and Martin showed how much the character of this little Hobbit had changed perfectly. I teared up at quite a few of his scenes. 

The other actors were all brilliant as well; I'm particularly extremely happy with Luke Evans, Lee Pace & Evangeline Lilly. Their acting jobs were stupendous. 

The movie scenes were just more wonderful, amazing work by Peter. I am not really a crying person when it comes to movies; I found that instead I teared up, gasped often, & jerked in my seat like I was having a spaz attack. I almost feel bad for the older couple sitting a few seats down the row from me. Although I really don't, because they sat through the whole movie emotionless.

The battle was huge, bigger than Pelennor Fields in ROTK. The imagination of Peter & his crew will never cease to amaze me; the way they set out battles and landscapes is just... ugh. 

BOFA was truly wonderful. As Richard Armitage said,"It grabs you by the throat and rips your heart out." 

It's emotional, beautiful, & it is worthy of all of Peter's other movies. At least in my eyes. =)

Spoiler Review is below, if you wish not to read it, just scroll hurriedly until you find the bolded End Of Spoilers line. =)

SPOILER REVIEW TURN BACK NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT ANYTHING SPOILED

Holy crap. Holy crap. HOLY CRAP.

Was legit the only thing going through my head during the whole movie. 

BOFA starts off with the slaying of Smaug. He's dead as the Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies title comes up. Luke Evans was amazing in the scenes. I teared up and sniffled at the beginning during the bell-tower scene with Bard & Bain.

"Look at me. Look at me!" Luke Evan's line kind of broke me a bit, as Smaug was coming toward the bell tower and Bain was freaking out, whilst Bard prepared to shoot the dragon.

The movie starts off with action, and never really slows down after that.

I loved nearly everything.

Aw heck, I loved EVERYTHING.

Some of the things I'd like to ramble about though from the movie are:


Dain Ironfoot. A lot of people were complaining because Billy Connolly was replaced by all CGI, but I enjoyed the character. A bad-butt Scottish dwarf who rides a war pigs and blatantly refers to the oncoming orcs as "bastards," is my kind of guy.

He didn't get a ton of screen-time per-say but I thought it was still a sufficient amount. At least to make the character memorable to the audience.

Plus, he'll be extremely memorable if you've seen Brave. Billy Connolly did the voice of Disney Merida's dad. ;)



~




If you've seen the last two Hobbit movies, you know that Thranduil rides his elk.

...

The elk gets killed.

I STARTED CRYING AND WAS HYPERVENTILATING.

And then Dain's war pig gets struck down as well.

Cue Adi gasping like she's been impaled.

And cue the older couple probably cursing under their breath and wishing I wasn't there.

Seriously though, animal deaths. No. NO.


~



Okay this is going to be a huge spoiler for people who have not read the Hobbit book.

If you have, you know the people supposed to die.

Oh my gawd.

OH MY GAWD.

The deaths are horrible. Heart-wrenching, and so shocking they leave you gaping at the screen. Kili's was especially emotional for me. If you ship Tauriel & Kili together... be sure to pack extra tissues. It's horrible.

Thorin's was extremely horrible as well. Bilbo crying over his body and telling him everything is going to be okay before he dies is sob worthy.

And Fili... I have no words for Fili's death.


~

Thranduil was just... Lee Pace is just...

There's a scene where he gives the most dastardly smirk and ungh, it's just so perfect.

He's so perfect.

Oy.

Fangirl feels. xD




~

There's one scene that had me all weepy yet smiling that I'd really like to mention before I finish this up. Whilst in Erebor, Bilbo is sitting fiddling with something that you at first think is the Arkenstone. Thorin sees him fiddling with this thing, thinks it's the Arkenstone as well, and flies at him, angrily. Bilbo hurriedly tells him it's not what he thinks it is, and he holds out his hand, in which a small acorn rests.

He picked it up at Beorn's house and says he wishes to plant it in his own garden back in the Shire. Then the nostalgic Shire music starts playing and if you're like me you start furiously rubbing at your eyes because you're trying not to bawl.

It's a lovely scene. One of my favorites, I think. ^_^


~

The last thing I want to mention (trying not to spoil too many things; just write about the things that I can't not share xD) is the end of the movie.

I was SO freaking happy that Peter included the auction scene. And yes, we finally get to see Lobelia Sackville-Baggins taking Bilbo's spoons. It is such a glorious part.

"Who are you?!"

"Oh, you know who I am, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins! And those are my spoons!"

The scene made me smile, but the real killer is the very, very end. I shan't spoil that part. But it's a sweet, nostalgic bit that leads right into Lord of the Rings. I don't think it could've been done any better. =)


~

END OF SPOILERS

Overall, I loved BOFA. I don't understand the critic's opinions, but then again, they are just that.

Opinions.

Whether or not you love the movie all depends on just you.

I know I was slightly worried going to go see the movie after having read a few big spoilers. I worried for nothing though. The movie was glorious. I hope I'll be able to chastise my mom to take me back to go see it again soon.


If you have seen the movie below, share your thoughts!

If you haven't seen it, what are you looking forward to?

And any questions about book to movie differences, or questions about what happens in general? Feel free to ask!

Have a wonderful day guys.

~Adi , The Halfling Writer