Old Soul

I am so young,

But I feel so old. 

They say

The treatment can do that.

Make one mature. 

But I don't

Feel mature.

I just feel old. 

I see so many others my age,

And I feel like

 I'm in a bubble.

Cut off

From the rest of them. 

I don't get things

The way they do. 

I can't grasp their concepts. 

I don't feel

Like I belong. 

I just feel old. 

I want to be

Blissfully ignorant.

I want to pretend

There are no consequences. 

I want to live

In the moment,

And for once

Not over-analyze.

I want to be

Like others. 

But I can't,

When I feel so old. 

____________________________________________________

"I've always been told that I am an old soul. 

And that my eyes are often too sad

             For someone so young.

I cannot help but wonder if I was born into

The right time period, or if I was meant for

A time that was more beautiful than today. 

I'm too slow for what today demands of us,

I just wish I were as young as my age, maybe

Then life would be a little easier for an

                                         Old soul like me."

(e.a.)

It's hard not to believe in a concept, when you relate to it so strongly. I've always quietly believed myself to be an old soul, as silly, or stupid, as it sounds. I feel like I've seen the whole world, when in reality I've barely brushed across a few states. I find myself looking down on others my age for being immature, and later wondering if something is wrong with me, for not being like them. 

It's like when my dog sits on the couch, and looks down on the cat, chasing after a laser pointer, with an expression that says,'You know you're never going to get that, right? You know the humans control it, right? Why the hell are you chasing it?!' 

Essentially, I'm the dog. 

I feel like I've lived many more years than I really have. That I have some sort of other knowledge, that makes me look at things more cynically than most. 

I wish I could be like others.

But no-- I've got an old soul.

And I've been coming to learn, that perhaps having an old soul isn't such a bad thing after all.

xo Adaline