Old Soul


I am so young,

But I feel so old. 

They say

The treatment can do that.

Make one mature. 

But I don't

Feel mature.

I just feel old. 


I see so many others my age,

And I feel like

 I'm in a bubble.

Cut off

From the rest of them. 

I don't get things

The way they do. 

I can't grasp their concepts. 

I don't feel

Like I belong. 

I just feel old. 


I want to be

Blissfully ignorant.

I want to pretend

There are no consequences. 

I want to live

In the moment,

And for once

Not over-analyze.

I want to be

Like others. 

But I can't,

When I feel so old. 
____________________________________________________

"I've always been told that I am an old soul. 
And that my eyes are often too sad
             For someone so young.
I cannot help but wonder if I was born into
The right time period, or if I was meant for
A time that was more beautiful than today. 
I'm too slow for what today demands of us,
I just wish I were as young as my age, maybe
Then life would be a little easier for an
                                         Old soul like me."
(e.a.)

It's hard not to believe in a concept, when you relate to it so strongly. I've always quietly believed myself to be an old soul, as silly, or stupid, as it sounds. I feel like I've seen the whole world, when in reality I've barely brushed across a few states. I find myself looking down on others my age for being immature, and later wondering if something is wrong with me, for not being like them. 

It's like when my dog sits on the couch, and looks down on the cat, chasing after a laser pointer, with an expression that says,'You know you're never going to get that, right? You know the humans control it, right? Why the hell are you chasing it?!' 

Essentially, I'm the dog. 

I feel like I've lived many more years than I really have. That I have some sort of other knowledge, that makes me look at things more cynically than most. 

I wish I could be like others.

But no-- I've got an old soul.

And I've been coming to learn, that perhaps having an old soul isn't such a bad thing after all.


xo Adaline 

Comments

  1. Absolutely gorgeous <3 you put into words perfectly what I think is so hard to understand. And I'm glad you're finally finding peace with it.

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  2. Absolutely beautiful Adi. We all love you and your old soul <3

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  3. Lovely ❤

    I agree with Ellie: you put a difficult concept into simple, yet stunning, words.

    I think I have an old soul too, at least, that's what my friends say.

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    Replies
    1. thank you ^.^

      I think your friends are right. :)
      xo Adi

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  4. This post is absolutely beautiful. I love the way you've used the dog looking down at the cat example. I can relate to this so much, I feel like I am a truly old soul as well. But, I realized that's not necessarily a bad thing, like you've also mentioned. We should all embrace ourselves, and love ourselves how we are. Old soul or "YOLO" soul, it doesn't matter. We are all unique and beautiful, as long as we are being our true selves. Beautiful post. :)

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    1. gah yes. i agree with everything you said. old soul or new soul we're all wonderful. ^-^
      (i love how you dubbed it 'yolo' soul. brilliant. <3)
      xo Adi

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  5. I look down on people my age often too, but then I wonder whether I'm ever somewhat the same, if I'm just being condescending. I guess grown-ups are just children with more years, so that doesn't mean they've actually grown up at all. Maybe we just have to know that everyone in life will make mistakes, and we're no better than they are.

    -M
    The Life of Little Me

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  6. Hey Adaline!
    Lovely post dear.
    I was wondering if you have ever heard of such an amazing thing as the Myers-Briggs Personality test. It's awesome, like really awesome; and I think you'd like it. It's a long quiz but it is well worth the time. I'd love to know what type you got if you decide to take it. Just google MBTI test and it should be the first one that pops up.
    Keep up the great work!
    ~Lu

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    Replies
    1. Hello, Lainey!
      Thank you so much! <3
      I took the test and I got ENFP. :)
      xo Adi

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